“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”

Each time I read this quote from Oscar Wilde, I have to chuckle a little more at it's honesty. I can't count how many times I've compared myself to other women whom I know, and even more pointlessly, to those I don't know. So many times I end up falsely labeling myself as "not as good as" or with a mistaken sense of superiority thinking I'm "better as",  as in, "At least my house is cleaner, ...my kids are better, ...my marriage is closer," etc.. (C'mon, isn't that why there's such success in Reality T.V? We all like to seek out reassurance that we have it all together---at least more than _________.) 

This works fine, until we come across someone else whom we seriously consider must be doing a better job than we are because, to use the above examples, her house seems cleaner, her kids happier, her marriage problem-free...blah-blah-blah.

What a crock.

Yep. That's what I meant.

The fact is, any moment in time is just that. Life is fluid, so are people. Therefore, one minute things may be coming up roses for someone and maybe their home is more organized, maybe they are enjoying a time of peace with their kids, and maybe they've achieved a place of security in their marriage! At least, for right now. Current success does not secure a problem-free future. Not that we'd ever want to glory in someone's disappointment, but this is life, folks, and it applies to all of us! Rain falls on all of us.

However, just as their success doesn't necessarily proclaim their prowess, nor does it magnify our weaknessess. Unless we let it.

There is such peace in living a transparent life; not trying to assume a persona that attempts to convince others we have it all together. Whether we are at a rare place where it all just seems to flow right, or whether we are in times of turbulence, not only is it peaceful to just "be" where we're at, but also to know other women in our lives are not assigning judgment to where they see us at.

How would the culture of women change if we all attempted to connect to the soul of other women; the internal workings that we all have in common; the basic needs of humanity we all share? In other words, giving each other the benefit of the doubt; the gift of grace over the gavel of judgement.

This, of course, can only begin when we break that chain and stop assigning judgement to their lives. To rephrase; if there's to be change, let it begin with me.

I am blessed for knowing a core of women who share this philosophy of grace vs judgement. What a blessing they are because it allows us the freedom to be ourselves.

And incredibly, how ironic it is that often in the freedom of being ourselves, we actually do begin a process of improvement; becoming more self confident, more positive, more industrious. These traits do influence other positive situations in our lives.

Blessings in this New Year. May it bring us all closer to the person God has in mind.
TB